Settling into our new house, stretching our legs, painting walls, building shelves, spreading seeds and mulch, planting bulbs- putting down roots of every kind to put us into our place has been wonderful. Even more so has been settling into our new neighborhood- and feeling like for the first time I'm living in a place with neighbors- a place that neighbors continue to act, well, neighborly. I spent our first morning in the house, emptying the basement of much water (think Mickey Mouse in the Sorcerer's Apprentice) with a flimsy half-gallon bucket. A man my grandfather's age pulled up along the street and asked if he didn't mean to intrude but wanted to offer any help he could be. Being the strong, independent and non-trusting modern woman I immediately yet graciously refused. We exchanged names and the next afternoon his wife walked over to make introductions and give me the "run-down" of the area. Since then I've received brownies, end of the driveway conversations, introductions to other neighbors, the inside scoop on wild-grown raspberries at the end of our street, ,offers of rhubarb and perennial cuttings... And the same man I mentioned before brought over his wheelbarrow when he saw I was using buckets to spread 3 yards of mulch. And I thought- where have I been? Why was it that in my last homes, I barely recognized my neighbors let alone know them, their kids and their garden tools?
I have to say, it doesn't come naturally. In my former life, I spent a long time studying my shoes as I walked from place to place. In the pre-iPod world, I loved my now prehistoric Walkman. Or I walked fast, looking into the distanced, jaw squared, determined, important strides. Too busy to slow down, connect even for a moment. It was a way to retreat. Now it seems we're plugged in, tuned in, inhabiting our own pods... walking, driving, living independently. Separately. And where are we really?
Several years ago, I made myself stop watching my footsteps and instead started greeting the world. Saying "Hello" and "How are you?" and meaning it. Making eye contact. Listening to kids playing and vendors talking and lost people's delusions and buses screeching by. I started noticing faces, expressions... and all those people who could not or would not meet my smile.
This evening as I was walking with friends back from a local creemee joint, one of my neighbors was coming home. I caught him as he was getting out of his car with a gym bag in one hand and his tie loosened. I had noticed him and his family several times and had waved while our cars passed. It would have been so easy to just wave and walk, keep on keepin' on... But I paused, extended my hand and an introduction- pointed out Jeff and Silas who were ahead. I listened to his family introductions and we made plans to get our kids together. Almost effortless- it was as easy as merely continuing my walk. A new neighbor. Maybe a new friend.
As we were packing up the garage at our old apartment, a man walked up our driveway... Someone I had never seen before. He was getting signatures for a petition. We chatted for awhile and it finally came up that he lived directly across the street. I had watched him work on his car, mow his lawn, shovel his driveway for two years. Two years- and for the first time we were standing face-to-face... and I had no idea who he was. How many neighbors do we have that are just like that? It was a terrible, empty feeling. I'm glad I am now living amidst neighbors who take time to see each other, stop for each other, visit with each other. Teach me to do the same.
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